Portland, OR
September 2007

Cosmic Gnomes

Hosted by John C

Next: Rackem Dano

Went bowling at the infamous Interstate Lanes. We had a grand time! Well, once we figured out the physics, of course.

We met Buford. Avid bowler, bridge enthusiast, John Travolta fan and pool shark are among his many interests. After a couple beers ole Buford challenged us to a round of bowling. This should be interesting.

The bowling alley insists that everyone where these special ugly shoes. Tiki Jr. and I tried on the smallest size they had but nothing fit.

Noticing our growing frustration the rental agent told us it'd be ok to bowl with the shoes we were wearing. YES!

This ball was terribly big and heavy. I tried some Gnome telepathy on it. Tried becoming one with the ball. Cursed at it and sweet talked it. It wasn't gonna budge.

Nothing worked so I finally just ran straight at it and gave it a good shove. To my surprise I actually knocked down several of the pins. Didn't take me long to figure out my technique after that. I was determined to stomp Tiki Jr. at bowling.

I know you must be wondering where this competitive attitude has come from. Let's just say that when I lose Tiki Jr. doesn't let me live it down and pokes at me about it the whole time we are traveling from one place to the next. Nothing better to do I guess.

TJ had a little problem figuring out exactly how this bowling thing works. Ultimately he went with the log rolling approach. It was quite amusing to watch and I became nervous as he honed his patented "lumberjack" technique.

Such style and grace Buford displayed. Just look at the follow through of his hand. "Hole In One" Tiki Jr. bellowed.

Buford, a bit buzzed after several more beers turned and said "Now that's what you call a STEEERICK!" Followed by 60 seconds of hootin and hollering.

"Hey where does this whole lead?" were Tikis famous last words.

Tiki Jr learned this lesson the hard way. Luckily he won't be recieveing a Darwin award for this stupidity....hehehe.

Final score:

Bud: 90
Buford: 169
Tiki Jr: 85

Guess that's what you call home court advantage!

Hey at least I didn't lose to Tiki Jr.! Course he was set to win until that "Where's this hole go?" incident.

(Photos: John C./ Dialogue: John C. & Tony V.)